Yesterday

“I was imagining the police would find me lying on the ground bleeding”

Yesterday I missed home again! Had stayed indoors all day so went out for a drive to feel the breeze. Parked in the usual car park, left the keys under the car tyre, I usually do when I go running because I hate running with anything in my pockets :).

I crossed the road into the football field, It was late around 7 pm. I walked slowly, hands in my pockets feeling the nice cold breeze on my face. My plan was to walk until I find one of the middle benches in the field, I had lots of thoughts in my head. With the latest stabbings in the UK, I kept imagining someone coming to stab me in the back, I was imagining the pain. I had no phone on me as I had decided to leave it in my car. I was imagining the police would find me lying on the ground bleeding and they won’t know who I am as I also had no identification, my pockets were empty.

I imagined lots of things happening to me in that short space of time, how useless I felt and honestly lots of other nasty stuff. On approaching the seventh bench in the field I decided to stop and sit down. It’s at this moment that I realised I had pictured myself sitting on this bench before I had actually sat on it. I usually picture moments in my head and try to make them real and this was one of them. I also pictured myself writing this when got back home and here I am writing…

After a couple of runs, got back to the car feeling a lot better, okay truth is I miss people, real people. I think ever since I moved to the UK I have occasionally missed being around people(I mean family and friends) tho last year in December it was worse. I didn’t heal till I spoke to the doctor by the way and for the first time, I realised such illnesses exists.

The lesson is don’t judge anyone by their actions before you find out the reason behind their actions. Everyone has real struggles including the celebrities we envy, everyone has baggage. We should try to be helpful and offer help to others where we can if they do ask. You don’t know if you are someone’s hope by listening to them, picking their phone call, kissing them, smiling at them or helping them out in one way or the other.

I was listened to by the doctor in December and am better now. I want to help so many others get better by sharing my true story on a big stage one day. I dream of that moment over and over again in my head where I will wear my suit, medium size, high heels (if I’ve learnt how to walk in them by then) and nice black hair with millions tuned in online and many others sitted in the room listening to my true story…

Author: Jean Sseninde

Forbes 30 under 30 Finalist 2019 | Footballer Uganda Women's National Team | CEO Sseninde Foundation | Founder Sseninde Women's Development Cup

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