Behind The Smile

‘I have learned to be unapologetic about the things I want to do’

The truth is , I never knew how much my life could change when I left my home country to move to the UK. It’s been years and honestly am very fine and happy. I admit I have changed and am convinced I’ve changed for the better. Sometimes I cant believe how bold I am when addressing people and also how I fight for the things I want / believe in. I opened this website to speak up my mind aloud and am sure theres a lot of mistakes but for once I allowed my self to be raw.

Everything I do is for a purpose and for the last few days I have learned to be unapologetic about the things I want to do . At times all the people who don’t want us to succeed put all the bad thoughts in our minds that send the message to our hearts like a chain of command that’s very effective. Have grown up now and truth is we all don’t have much time. My dreams are real in my heart and I don’t see a way out right now apart from fighting hard. As I told you I have enjoyed my journey so far since I left home but now my heart aches so bad. I left my friends and family and everyone I know and at quite a young age! Now the challenge I have is that I miss home, I miss my friends I miss having all the people I had around me.

With life we have to make sacrifices tho I feel at this point everything is hard. Most things feel like a love hate relationship. I think am a person of extremes where I love too much when I do and probably vice verser but please don’t quote me on that.

I really miss home! Even being here, there’s something wrong that I cant quit explain. I don’t wanna leave, the things I wanna do seem like very big Dreams so at times I feel am in this kind of bubble or dreamy world. The truth is I don’t really care because what is the point of life anyway if we don’t do the things we wanna do?

The truth is , the life we have won’t last forever. I have fallen in love with being home. I want to have all my friends again that I left. Its nothing to do with what am doing now but its just the way it is, its just what my heart wants and for me thats what matters now.

Behind this smile there’s a young lady who is fighting, working very hard to achieve a big dream, there’s this strong woman who misses family everyday but keeps going because it’s just how life is. There’s this beautiful lady who wants to go out for a drink with a friend who is probably busier than she is! A strong lady who has learned to keep a deaf ear when someone says she’s not good enough. Having learned how to deal with that, the maturity I have is victory I should be proud of.

Since this is my first blog of 2019, I wish you all a happy new year.

Author: Jean Sseninde

Footballer Uganda Women's National Team & Queens Park Rangers Women| CEO Sseninde Foundation | Founder Sseninde Women's Development Cup

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